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In the adult industry, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the publicists, who put out press release after press release, and that guy at PornNewz, who makes fun of those Press Releases. These are their stories.

DUN DUN

-X-play’s Not Monday Night Football XXX is getting it’s second wind now that it is airing on the Playboy TV channel.  So if you haven’t seen it yet, now is your opportunity to watch a great flick, laugh, jerk off, jerk off to the sound of your own laughter and then laugh at the sound of you jerking off.  The guys at X-Play have released a trailer that only seems like it’s 45 minutes long, when in actuality it’s just 43.  Check it out here:
YouTube Preview Image

-Wicked Pictures also has a Youtube trailer out, this one for their upcoming big budget motorcycle blockbuster “Speed”.  Not to be confused with the Keanu Reeves flick of the same name, this one will not feature any homosexual love scenes between Jeff Daniels and Dennis Hopper.  What?  That wasn’t in your copy of Speed?  Check out the Wicked trailer here, and then go jack off to Easy Rider.  Wait…Wicked is doing a movie called Speed about motorcycles, Speed was also the name of a Dennis Hopper movie, Dennis Hopper was in Easy Rider, the movie was about motorcycles, Jack Nicholson was also in Easy Rider and was in A Few Good Men With Kevin Bacon!  BAM!

-Adam & Eve has posted a sales increase.  Adam & Eve posts a lot of sales increases, seems every few months we hear about Adam & Eve killing it in sales.  I guess John Edwards isn’t the only swinging dick in North Carolina producing positive results.  Except in Edwards case, it’s a “…you ARE the baby daddy” type of positive results.

-Digital Playground is releasing a 2011 star calendar featuring all of the studios big stars in anime style drawings.  I am being told there is no truth to the rumor that in addition to important holidays and pornstar birthdays, there is no text notation on every calendar day reminding DP to put out a press release.

-Penthouse is releasing new titles.  Let me guess the titles are: “How to accumulate a shitload of debt and still act like you can buy things”, “We nearly single-handedly fund piracy operations” and “Watch Marc Bell get Gag Factor’d”.

-Bondage and fantasy restraint manufacturer Sportsheets has announced a lifetime limited warranty.  So you can now feel confident that you can get your money back on that japanese rope bondage kit you bought since it’ll have a lifetime warranty.  Unless you die as a result of tying yourself up, then the lifetime warranty won’t really help you.  But the lifetime warranty is a good deal….David Carradine swears by it!  Too soon?

That’s all folks!


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