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Extracting the fluffy, gooey center of the day’s Press Releases

I’m writing this PR Roundup from my least favorite state in our nation - Utah. Hopefully being in such a lame state won’t affect my ability to slice and dice the day’s PR. Let’s do this!

-Pipedreams was awarded with manufacturer of the year at the Las Vegas Storerotica Awards. I voted for them solely because their BASIX line is MADE IN THE USA! While I’m not a fan of awards shows, much less fan voting awards shows, at least this one went out to a great company! Good job Pipedreams!

-Burning Angel is releasing a new Joanna Angel title called “Rock and Roll In My Butthole”. With a title like that, there’s not much more that needs to be said. Maybe I’m the exception but I’m not a huge fan of discovering new bands while I’m watching chicks take it up the ass. I just can’t multi-task like that. “Oh yeah bitch…take it right up the ass….and man does this band sound like the Ramones….but like early Ramones…fucking Ramones…I’m whacking it and thinking about the Ramones…fuck - I’m limp.”

-PornNewz’ favorite PR girl Tera Patrick is in the running for something called the Booble girl. Since it’s a popularity contest, Tera will win. Keep in mind that according to Tera she is a household name like no other porn star. Tera is actually trailing in the voting to Vicky Vette so please…PLEASE go vote for Vicky. Tera has resorted to saying she’d give the money to charity, but it was never about the money…she just wants to win this award so that she can put out another Press Release talking about how she won, and how thankful she is to the fans and how this shows what a household name she is. She must be stopped. Do it! Go vote for Vicky!

-The most bizarre PR comes from a novelty company that is offering a vibrating love bunny that you create via your facebook account, send text messages to flirt (?) with the bunny online and then have it mailed to you. If you do this…yer a psycho and you need to seek help. But I guess this appeals to those that have a yearning to get gangbanged at a local “Build A Bear” workshop. I know I’m always wishing I could carry on an online romance with an inanimate object and then have it show up one day to take our relationship to the next level. Psychos.

-All-Male company AMG is releasing a title that they claim is “steeped in fantasy and realtiy”. Ummmm…I don’t think you can be ’steeped’ in 2 things that are completely opposites. “Rio” sports a star cast of guys born in Rio De Janiero. This movie is loaded with groundbreaking ideas. At one point the guys get interviewed, talk about their fantasies, and then a scene plays that’s just like that fantasy. That’s so original! Then there’s a part where the screen goes black and all the people who worked on the movie somehow telekinetically make their name appear on the screen. That sounds like something sure to catch on and be copied by everyone else though!!!

-Margaret Cho (who I could have swore I saw at the Shane’s World booth in Vegas this past week) will be interviewing the Wicked girls on XM Radio this Thursd….well shit it already happened a few hours ago…hope you weren’t depending on me to tell you. I wonder how it went. Anyway, you have to wonder about a press release that repeats the same sentence twice during the course of the PR. What a bunch of amateurs. Anyway, you have to wonder about a press release that repeats the same sentence twice during the course of the PR. What a bunch of amateurs.

-I hate to even give this PR any time whatsoever, but I can’t pass it up. Craig Valentine’s NRPW went to New Zealand to put on a show. I think New Zealand is like the most remote place in the world, so that’s a good place for the NRPW to go…….and stay. Sadly they are returning stateside. Well you can’t win them all. Anyway the terrible PR gives the “results” and as my luck would have it mentions another PornNewz favorite…Matt Zane. It’s like the Surreal World for porno “celebs”. The PR previews the next show, but all you need to know is that it will feature 2 guys who have such a hard time selling pornos that they have to either impale themselves on spikes, or bash their heads in halfway across the world. Hard way to earn a buck. Let’s see what porn person will offer to behead themselves first in a desperate attempt for publicity. If I were still a buyer I’d get my money’s worth when buying their product. I’d tell them I’d carry all their titles….if they swallowed a jar full of razor blades and then chugged a bottle of Jack.

-I got a Press Release from Pure Play that starts out “Last Days Of Pure Play Media…” and should really just stop there, but it goes on to state it’s the last days of their monthly special. And the time is running out on winning the hybrid car they are giving away. Let’s take bets on which lasts longer…the Direct 2 Retail program, or the first tank of gas in the hybrid.

Well that’s all for today…stay tuned for a new PR Roundup Monday morning. Thanks for all the feedback and don’t forget to send us your PR!


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